Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
