Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
