He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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