If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
