Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
time to smoke my breakfast
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
