At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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