OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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