Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
