Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
