Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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