i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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