Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you told grandpa to call you daddy
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
