I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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