have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
