Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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