I am puke
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
