can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
