Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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