I hope mine doesn't look like that
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
