does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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