This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
