his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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