the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
