can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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