maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We're too hungover to prance.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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