I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
