i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
