Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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