Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
