were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
