Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
