so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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