What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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