Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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