It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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