My brain says no but my pants say off.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
being pregnant is like rehab
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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