Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
