I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
