You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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