I love black thongs
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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