I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
