You made me cry and you don't even care
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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