take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I need water and some morals
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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