She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
