you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
