I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I forget how to act sober
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
