he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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