Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
