a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
