Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my vag is so smooth its legendary
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
