i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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